歧義

2013/04/08

衝浪人

Filed under: Faith,Feel,feeling sick...,Live,struggle,Tears — pinksealife @ 06:56

過去的兩年PCLL, 面前兩年的實習, 掛牌後的billing 生活••••••就像一個又一個的巨浪,每次我都會問自己,浪大過頭了嗎?這次會否把自己吞噬?

我一生要奉獻天主,let the weak say I am strong, let the poor say I am rich.

我讀LLB,是因為我要促使社會有改善或改變,便得先了解遊戲規則,再超越它,克服它。
而我讀PCLL, 是因為愛: 爸爸媽媽用他們的最好成全了我的環遊世界夢,容許我浸淫在六年的大學生活,將人間至善至美的願景和決心推進,所以我用五年時間取得律師資格,讓自己進可攻,退可守,多了一個經濟的保障。

可是,做起來,實在比預期中的難,身心亦比預期中消耗得快。

工作,學業,遠途車,生離死別,壓力,每一步,都幾乎沒有為自己留下一點緩衝。我有時趁有空忍不住回頭看,那塊我想要努力耕耘的理想的土地啊,它就在岸邊,等我回來吧!不過馬上便得向前游,同時離岸邊越來越遠,對那塊土地的認知也越來越模糊。

就這樣,我迷失了,活在徹底的痛苦之中。

活在痛苦的人,我所見的,各有應付的方法, 例如:
有人選擇麻醉自己:吸煙,不斷打機,Facebook, 購物,酗酒,濫情,超速駕駛。
也有選擇離開的:轉行,移民,離開現實,甚至世界。

我浮浮沉沉,試過效法這些過來人,把自己弄到冒出煙來:實驗失敗。

天亮了,我是很清醒,但很累。

雖然這讓我很傷感,我還是喜歡我自己的,也感謝自己努力過,嘗試過。

感謝天主,求祢讓地上的人們團結。

2011/06/05

Pain as an unwanted gift

Filed under: Feel,feeling sick...,female perspective,Live — pinksealife @ 16:28

Since the age of 12, I have been undergoing a learning process, that makes me learn how to be a witness of the pain inside my body.  It is a regular process where pain is completely taking over of me: the cramp, the numb, the cold sweats, the meaningless vomitting, the shaking limbs, and the shallow breathing.

Every time, I felt the proximity of death without its arrival; afterward, the two loci divert again, with mine moving towards the radiating sun of life and vibrancy, and death towards the universe of the unknown.

The most terrible of all in life is eternal pain with no end, and the greatest bless of all is decay of a fulfilled life without any muted struggle in pain.

When my life starts to decay, I may become less responsive to what is happening around me; later, I may shut my eyes, relying more on my hearing, and focus more on what is happening within me.  I may eat less, as there is no more need for outreach; I can’t go wherever I want as before.  It takes a long time before I gear up to move to one particular place for top necessity.  At the final stage, necessity become a more refined term to me.  I become a witness to myself; others witness my everything.  My painful face and body is always there; people come and go; my pride and dignity is discounted, I open for care like a baby.  Finally, breathing becomes the only life.  Finally, will determine whether I will stay or be taken away.

2008/09/17

于素秋

Filed under: feeling sick...,grow,Identiy,Love,struggle,Tears,tiredness — pinksealife @ 23:53

對人有了期望起來時

那期望會是很高的

失望了

她會傷心地流眼淚

傷得比任何人都要奇深

這就是她

被游說買美容療程、盤算買一部相機、決定與他一起

可以考慮良久

但下定主意決定投入

中間往往是滿戲劇性的瞬間轉變

差點便沒有中間

就像走到收銀台前

然後說要皇牌焗豬扒飯飲熱檸水

說到愛情

她不願害他拿起那叫人喘不過氣的風箏線軸

也不要再次又再次受錐心之痛流不盡的眼淚

她不會輕易將深處交託給人

換言之,不信任「總在身邊守候聆聽」般有心無力的諾言

The un-failing

可惜亦恐怕只有祂。

2008/07/26

北京奧運 公安記者混戰 Beijing Olympics Conflicts between Police and journalists

Filed under: feeling sick...,Hong Kong,struggle,wow! — pinksealife @ 11:22

Can’t comment yet.

(more…)

2008/06/23

Life standing by at the hospital

Recently my grandma entered the hospital.  We were worried, sad, tired – every one stand by her and give her support everyday.

.

.

While we stand by, our kids didn’t stop to have some 小快樂、小樂趣

.

少年不知愁知味是也

.

.

2008/02/23

Filed under: creative 便幸福,feeling sick...,Hong Kong,Laughters,Live — pinksealife @ 06:06

胃炎雖然令人頓覺老了40年

但可喜可賀的是

全不費力地

一天少了4磅

嘩哈哈

2008/02/21

发烧饮食禁忌

Filed under: feeling sick...,Hong Kong,Learn,work — pinksealife @ 09:07
Looking up “So stupid. “一、不宜饮茶。茶叶含有丰富的茶碱,茶碱不仅有升高人体温度的作用,而且还会降低退热药物的效果,所以发烧期间最好不要喝茶水。以喝白开水为好。

二、不宜多吃鸡蛋。鸡蛋含有丰富的蛋白质,发热期间吃鸡蛋,其蛋白质在体内分解后,会产生一定的额外热量,使肌体热量提高而加重和延长发热。

三、不宜服蜂乳。蜂乳乃益气补中之品,发热期间服用,等于火上加油,将有碍病情康复。

四、不宜多吃油腻食物。油腻食物难以消化,多食会加重胃肠的负担。另外,油腻碍邪,能助湿恋热,使病症不宜痊愈。
——

So angry, I did all of these! So so so stupid.

記得中五時…

Filed under: creative 便幸福,Feel,feeling sick...,Hong Kong,work — pinksealife @ 07:46

記得生物科時知道Amonia常用來透過刺激大腦令休克者甦醒

我說干炒牛河的氣味更勝一籌!

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